Standing On The Cliff Of Change

Life has been one big bowl of cherries lately, only the real life kind of cherries where about 70% of them are ripe and juicy and divine, and the other 30% are a little bit of everything. Some are bitter(sweet), some a little rotten, some just downright shrivvly and gross. And they all have pits! And that's OK. If there's anything I've come to learn since stepping out into the big world of being a (semi) responsible adult, it's that life is a mixed bag. Sometimes it's great! Sometimes you get mugged four times in one year (thanks, 2014). In the end you have to roll with it and hope you make the right decisions along the way.

There's been a lot of decision making in our house over the past couple of months. Opportunities have come up that are somewhat terrifying while being so incredibly exciting at the same time. Lots of soul-searching between bouts of watching too much Drag Race, attempting to keep cool in front of our AC, and lots of salads for dinner (it's hot here). Sometimes I think I crave and welcome change because I know I'm innately averse to it. I get comfy. When plans change at the last minute I get sweaty and panicked. I'm obsessed with schedules, mostly my own, mostly obsessed with controlling it. So when the opportunity for big, drastic change comes about, I'm like why the hell not? Let's get uncomfortable! In the end, I think I just want to be able to look back and know that I took risks, that I didn't shrink in the face of something different and new. If there's anything I've learned over the past several years, it's that life is wild. It will take you in so many unexpected directions if you let it, but it's also important to be there at the helm, steering the way. Chris and I celebrated our 13th year of togetherness this past April -- our relationship is officially a feisty teenager! -- and it blows my mind to think back on those early years. We had small ideas of where we'd be, certainly zero expectations of where we'd eventually end up. (Frankly, we fought so much in our first couple of years that I think both of us were like, "you're cool for now, but ultimately you're insane." -- we've obviously chilled out a lot) And now, looking back and looking forward, who knows where we'll end up in 13 more years. Like I said, life is a wild, wild thing.

Anyway, all these changes taking place, they've really forced me to question what I want out of life, versus what others perceive I want out of life, if that makes sense. Do I stand still, staying put out of some notion that others think I'm where I'm meant to be? Or do I dare to move and try something new (and maybe perceived as out of left field) and surprise myself and those around me? In the end, I think I've decided that I want the adventure and surprise.